Some news and some lessons learned

Every wonder why someone would look like this?

Or like this?

Maybe they had a long day, maybe they stayed up too late last night, or maybe they are PREGNANT! And maybe they have looked like this for the past 14 weeks. All I can say is booya!

Some people say when they realize they are pregnant: "Oh goodness gracious, we've done it again" some relay worried glances and can only mutter an "uh oh" some jump around and scream "yee haw, wahoo, iyiyiyiyiyi." I don't know if we fit into any of those categories, but I do know it is a reaction we always remember. In this case it is a story we will always remember....cause it's funny. Going to the hospital, talking to the old seasoned naval base doctor who says that no woman should have three accidental miscarriages, no woman who appears to be normal should be having to gamble on the next pregnancy. So he order's tests, turns out the tests really stink, hurt, are gross, and are largely embarassing. But in my back pocket I can't help but pull out the card that says, "cool beans, you find the problem....I'll do the tests." So midway through testing they draw blood for a pregnancy test because they cannot do all the testing if your pregnant. I call later that day to find the results....still not in. Call later, still not in. Call Travis, "Can you access my test results" "yup" "will you pull them up and look to see if we are pregnant or not" "still not up, I will call you when they are up" "k"


A while later I get a call, "your not pregnant" "k...I gotta go (cry cry cry)" Yes we had only been trying for one month, yes I wasn't really anticipating being pregnant. But whether we try for 1 1/2 years or 8 months...I still cry everytime. Being pregnant is miraculous, being um...not pregnant is unmiraculous. So I go about my day. A few days later I stomp my foot, say I am pregnant out loud to Corbyn and Ty and we all drive to the dollar store for a $1 super reliable pregnancy test. Forget the results of the 100% accurate blood test I just had, I am going to put all my faith in a $1 test. I come downstairs to read scriptures the following morning holding it in awe. Not one pink line, but two. I have never seen such a confused Travis. "but the test was negative....I saw it...what if I read it wrong??!!" Guess what, he did read it wrong. He was so scared I was would be mad, and I would have told him I wasn't mad but I couldn't stop laughing. Funny story. End of story, we are pregnant, it wasn't a long road of pain and hurt. It was a very short road. So naturally, based on our history, we assume this baby will miscarry. Then we will have a D and C. Then we will have crazy hormones and imbalances of every shape and sort for 6 months and then we will try again. Bring it on. If the spirit whispers peace and encouragement about adding to your family then what is to fear? We immediately call and get on all of those oh so bittersweet hormone and other sorts of drugs and after my first dose I wonder how I will mother my two boys and feel like an opiate addict. Then the pages unfold. After each ultra sound and doctor visit I somehow am not scared at all. I feel elated, happy, at a complete peace...despite the usual diagnosis. A blood clot, could detach the baby, might cause another miscarriage. But the only option is to wait, so wait we shall. Then the sickness finds it's way to us. We've done it 6 other times, why not do it with a little more faith and persistance this time. We all pray, things work out beautifully. Corbyn can make breakfast and get snacks, and even pats my shoulder when tears take over. Travis it turns out can be a mom and a dad. An impressive feat. And I learn a most valuable lesson. If you don't want to feel depressed and down trodden....get out of bed, shower, pull your hair back and try to do something that day. Whether it be one meal, one load of laundry, or one game of shoots and ladders. Do something. Work fights looming feelings of defeat and chases away the "how's" and the "why's." I am starting to feel better now, only sick from 5 pm on. Praises! The blood clot is still in there, but so is that darling very active kickity kicker. And I can't complain about having to go in and see him do his precious kickity kicks on ultra sound every week. And I really can't complain about being sick, with so much help and support it would be unwise to spread thoughts of doom and gloom. Things couldn't be more blessed and more happy here.