I am quite certain that the level of hygiene has dropped in my house since baby no. 3.
Imagine what will happen if any more babies grace our home.
Never mind, don't imagine.
If you have been to my home in the last month I do apologize. Well no I don't apologize. Apologies mean I would do it different, or that I am regretably sorry. I'm not either of those so I suppose I should say, "Poor you who had to use my potty." Or "Poor you who probably stuck to my kitchen floor a little more than normal."
I have kept to my new years resolution and have not cleaned religiously every day and it has been lovely for my chi and not so lovely for my house. Usually when people come over the kitchen and bathrooms are freshly cleaned so there are no suprises.
Just on Thursday the mama's came to drop kids off for preschool and 2 asked to use the bathroom downstairs. Reeeally? Sick. Sure, I hope it is an emERgency, otherwise it wont be worth it.
Let me define emergency.
We were driving home from dinner in Chicago Tuesday night and Ty had enjoyed one too many lemonades. He was dancing in his carseat about ready to soak the back seat, so being the incredibly cautious mother that I am-I let him climb out of his carseat, drop drawers, and try to go in a diaper. (years ago the Perrish family told me this is a sure fire way to keep your backseat dry. . . hey why not try it). I sat there holding much too small size 3 diaper around his cold little bum(why are bum's so cold) and tried not to gag.
Guess what?
He couldn't do it, stage fright.
Fine.
Buckle back up.
He starts the pee pee dance again.
Geez.
Whelp we pull over at this gas station. On the way in I am instructing them not to touch anything. It is one of those summer road trip gas station bathrooms. Way in the back, definitely not intended for human beings, poop on the walls---how does it even get there, watered down all gone soap, brown toilet bowl, don't touch ANYthing kind of bathrooms. Corbyn now has to go potty after hearing ty talk about it and now I have to go potty because everyone is screaming I HAVE TO PEE PEE. So on the way in I firmly remind as to the no touchie policy. Truly it was a pee pee emergency.
So yes, I will clean my bathrooms tomorrow. Sorry if you have used them.
So this has nothing to do with pee pee but we were at the Jelly Belly factory and I being the cautious(refer to story A) and incredibly mature mother dared Corbyn to eat a "bugar" flavored bean. I told him I would give him a marble. He all to excitedly says, "okay where are they." He pops it in his mouth and makes a disgusted face and spits it out and says-not EWww, not Blekkk, but rather: "That taste's nothing like a bugar." Well, I don't know what to say to that.
Also, if the Elder's are eating over please don't toot. And if you absolutely must toot please don't let it be a stinky one. And if it is a stinky one, please oh please do not lean over on your chair to do a one cheeker, and please please please if you must lean, do not lean toWARD the Elder next to you.
Is this what a house of all boys is destined to be for life?
If so, please send me some estrogen.
Please tell me your kid's do strange things like this?
12 comments:
I have 3 brothers--so I get ya--and yep that's the way it goes.
You are so funny. I am in the bathrooms not being so clean stage too. (reaching down that far at this stage in pregnancy is very difficult, as you know!) Clorox disinfectant wipes are as clean as they are getting these days! Happy cleaning...
I am dying in my chair laughing right now! Seriously! Oh, and I haven't picked up our toy room since we returned from vacation. Guess what I did to "clean" it up for Melody's birthday party? I pulled out one of those big blue bins, and I tossed all the toys from the floor into it, and slid it into my bedroom. Someday I'm hoping I'll have the time to really organize it again...
You are too funny! I love how you aren't afraid to record these events:) You will have some really good laughs in the future! Every Mom should have some go-to embarrassing stories.....
You crack me up! I just want to you know that since I have three little boys like you, I feel perfectly ok about pulling to the side of the highway, opening the van door, letting the boys stand inside the van, aiming out, and then keep on going...I feel it's one of the many bonuses to having boys. =)
OH HEATHER!!! I SO needed a laugh today! Thanks for this. We're having the missionaries for dinner tonight, I'll let you know how it goes. :) Boys are just too much darn fun. :)
My bathrooms are like that even when I'm, not pregnant or have a new baby. It's simply my least favorite room to clean and since no one else complains about it, I'm not going to either. It's nice to let SOMETHING "go" once and a while
HaHaHaHa! I was laughing so hard by the time I got to the end of your post. Hopefully one day you will have girl to balance out the testosterone!!!
you really crack me up. I really needed a good laugh today so thank you for posting this. And since I have boys too then I have to say it really is just a boy thing. lol But you are doing a fabulous job with those beautiful kids!! Miss ya tons
That was a FUNNY and wonderfully descriptive post!!!! LOVED IT!!! =D I needed that laugh today, THANK YOU!! =D
You are hilarious - needed a laugh today, thanks. :)
I totally totally love your blog-your sense of humor is awesome. :) I pop over every now and then from the Johnson's blog. You have totally just described my house-things definitely changed for us with baby no. 3! In fact the other day my MIL asked me if when we buy a new house (ours is over 100yrs old and we rend it) if I will keep that one cleaner-ah thanks that's so nice. anyway-you have a beautiful family and I just wanted you to know! (although I am sure you do know that-you aren't blind).
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