I DO!
Sometimes many of them all neatly placed right in a row.
How to know if it's just an ugly day:
1. When you put on three outfits and they all have crusted food on them, so you resort to the "ugly pants" and then...
2. you don't have time to do your hair because your 3 year old has thrown so many fits this morning and the time has just gone....puh. {Not like I do my hair everyday, but if I choose not to look ugly that day, I would really like to try to follow through with it}
3. You go to the mall to the play center and everyone seems to be wearing designer jeans and new crisp spring tops from Ann Taylor....puh....they probably drive escalades too and have someone else do their laundry....puh.
4. You call your sister to cry to {because she is always the best one }and she talks about the monstrous house she wants to buy and can afford {now the tears start}....your apartment suddely feels so small and clostrophobic.
5. You decide to start anew and read and pray and refocus yourself to ensure the after noon holds something more by the way of fulfillment.
6. But then your one year old decides to not take a nap and after an hour of uncontrolled crying you sit him in his chair and dump a whole container of yogurt on his tray to try and make peace....what child doesn't like to yogurt paint? For two minutes he happily paints and resumes crying. Puh! You scrub the yogurt off of the carpet {yes...CARPET under my kitchen table....ALWAYS CARPET!} and walls and table and just sit on the floor thinking....I sure wish I had an 8 to 5 and an hour lunch break.
7. you change his diaper and he happily breaks free from the mom grasp to crawl in the free cool naked air. You find yourself smiling watching that sweet little happy bum trot away but THEN.....what is that? Oh my gosh, he is pooping. crap.
Okay, I had better stop there, the rest gets even uglier with the "I'm going to be late coming home" phone call and no one liking the dinner I made. But the end is a real kicker, I can't leave it out.
You go to a meeting filled with strong capable women who all talk and testify about finding joy in the journey and you sit there thinking.....h o l y c r a p. Yes, I said CRAP, it is an acceptable word in the Taylor house and is used often.
Usually I am not a journal blogger but I just can't believe these days....truly....I need prozac and a minivan and I am all set for depressed mormon momdom. I already have a photography business {kind of} and an addiction to digital scrapbooking and I think those are the only prerequisites. I know only 2 people read my blog but perhaps they will have some advice to give to this incredibly revealing and honest post!
17 comments:
Hilarious! I know it's not when you're in the moment, but in hind sight, funny! Seriously though, I think the whole idea of being a mom is not getting much personal stuff done and having everything else you do get undone(laundry, for example)...frustrating, huh. I guess it's a good thing our deeds are being documented in heaven...otherwise, it would be really easy to throw our hands in the air and so "FORGET IT!" :)
I love this post.
I so HEAR you! It is currently the week before boards and I think every single day this week has been a bad one. Sometimes it is so hard to find perspective when you are covered head to toe in diapers, laundry, cleaning lists, grocery lists...
This can be a tough stage of life. Supporting a husband student and raising kids!
But isn't it rewarding amidst the craziness of it all? It is rewarding. And full of love. Motherhood is so hard, it takes guts, but at the end of the day we choose to start all over the next morning.
Bring on the mini-van ;)
You are GREAT! You know everyone reading this is thinking "Oh, I'm so glad other people have those days", and just for the record, I've seen many of your "can't get my hair done days" and you are HOT! I've always coveted your hair. So, thank-You for the honesty, it helps get me get through the day to know I'm maybe not all that bad if Heather Taylor has "those" days too. (I think I may have used more " then I ever have before)
I got a real kick out of this entry. I've so been there! We do have the hardest job in the world!
I feel your frustration! I'm like that too where it seems to come in waves - I'll be handling life really well and then everything seems to come at once and I'm at the end of my rope.
One of my hardest things is finding that balance of taking care of my needs, my kids' needs, my husband's needs, the house's needs, the Church's needs (those aren't listed in order of priority). ;)
I read a book called "It Takes a Mother to Raise a Village" and she lists five areas we need to do something in for ourselves each day: spiritual, educational, creative, physical, and social. And sometimes it may need to be something really small - like reading the back of the cereal box for something educational. ;)
So when those rough days come I have to fall back on this to help me. Anyway, I don't know if this even relates or would help you...you've probably got this already figured out. ;)
When it rains it pours I have noticed. You think you are in control until everything and anything that can possibly go wrong DOES! I'm sorry... if it helps, just know we ALL (or at least everyone I know who is honest with themselves) has days like that. It will pass. Tomorrow will be better. Or it might take a few days, but I promise. It will be better.
And sometimes it is good to just have a good, long cry and get it out of your system! I did that today while my kids/hubby looked at me like I was crazy. Ah well. At least now I feel better.
Girl, I don't like you because you are too dang skinny and cute, and I read your blog, when I have time to read anyone's blog, and I bet that my house is dirtier than your's, ha,how is that for comparing. (at least you have had sex in the last 10 months, ha ha)
I love you Heather! Welcome to motherhood!
that sounds like my tuesday.I love this post heather. I love that you are so honest. Thanks for lettings us readers in on your bad days. . AhH, and I totally agree about the carpet under the table area. No mom came up with that idea. WHen I have dayssssss like this, which are often, I just put annabelle in the sink and turn the water on. She'll play in there for a while and I have a break to cry on the floor in the fetal possition. until it's time to mop up the water. that's a joke and you are awesome.
Heather you are so great! I know you will hate my advice and I am sure you have heard it a million times. But I am at a stage right now where just yesterday my 12 year old was a baby and now his voice is changing and he is almost as tall as me and he just wants to hang out with his friends and he likes girls. And my last baby(Lafe) isn't a baby anymore. We got rid of the crib and the high chair and the bottles and baby food and all the little baby clothes and I am realizing that every stage that he passes through is the last time I will experience that with my own children. I won't ever nurse again, I won't ever get to help my baby to roll over or take a first step. My days of being a "young" mom are just about gone and I am really sad about it. I don't think we can ever enjoy our kids enough they just can't help growing up and changing. All I can say is just enjoy the ride.
OK, I know you don't need another person to tell you how awesome, funny, fun, delightful, wonderful, et cetera, you are, but I'm gonna do it anyway! You totally rock! We all wish we could be like you in so many ways. My advice on the crummy days? CHOCOLATE!
Been there and done that! I totally understand about the women who "find jjoy in the journey." I have wondered, "Where is the joy?" What helps me is not to take it to seriously and to try and laugh and most of all tell my husband all about it. Good luck and know that another mom is going through the same things that you are!
I don't have advice since I am no where NEAR the experienced mom you are, but I do want to tell you AMEN! This has been my February...and so far my March. A-MEN!
Honestly, this post made me laugh pretty hard and I made Seth read it so I could say, "SEE? I'm not the only one going crazy!" ;)
Seriously, you're amazing, Heather.
I'm sure you've already come up with things to do and you've made friends already, so things are probably starting to look up, but if not...drop your kids off either with the daddy or at a friend's and go treat yourself! You deserve it, girl!
Hey Heather, You know how much I love ya so I'm going to be completely open and honest. I totally want to validate what you just said because I can hardly take care of Heidi but I would trade my life of no kids to yours any day of the week, gladly. My life of waiting for my husband to come home all day, meanwhile, watching all my friends talk about and play with their children and have those wonderful, gross yes, but fun experiences in the end. From the not so perfect mormon babyless wife, enjoy it sweetie. It's hard to say that I'm sure, I'm not you so. Love ya, you're awesome, I admire you so much!
I always read your blog! I just don't always comment! ;) It was a great post and don't worry I think most of us feel the same way!! Knowing you and your personality I know you are a great mom! I have ALWAYS looked up to you and the woman that you are! I would tell Kurt "I wish I were more like Heather!" You're an amazing person and a wonderful mom!
Kevin was talking about running his marathon the other day and said it was the worst and best experience all at once, and I guess you could say the same thing about being a mom- so hard, but rewarding. I guess it's good that we have other moms around us who feel the same way, and that we can support eachother. If you want to get a good laugh, you should check out my favorite mom blog: www.themeanestmom.blogspot.com- be sure to check out "readers favorites"(on the left side)- it's great when someone puts motherhood into perspective!
There is someone out there that feels the way I do!!! Amazing. Well I always tell myself, my kids and I are fed/sometimes dressed/and everyone is healthy/didn't die that day.
I'm so behind! I read your most current post, and then I had to know what had promted all of the advice...I LOVE your revelations from the not so perfect mormon mom. Heather, you are amazing! It's nice to know that everyone has "those days'. Some of us just don't know how to write it all down as eloquently as you do, but trust me...we all have them.
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